Life Log

Okay, I haven't really been around much lately, but I'm hoping to catch up on some of the newer things on my reading page tonight.

Truth is- I've been playing a lot of Blue Protocol: Star Resonance and haven't done much else. I'm pretty sure it's sparked some kind of urge to play MMORPGs in general because I've been looking for new MMORPGs to play as well. If anyone has any suggestions, please tell me just in case I haven't tried it yet!

I also saw my mom and brother today, which I don't think I'll talk about in this post.

News on the narcolepsy med I've been waiting for

Another thing: being tired sucks. I'm still waiting for the new narcolepsy medication my doctor prescribed over a month ago (Wakix). Turns out the reason it wasn't showing up in my Walgreens account was because it requires a "specialty pharmacy" or something. I left a message for my doctor about this, and she recently (as in a few days ago) sent the prescription to CVS, which is apparently allowed to ship out the medication. So hopefully I'll be getting it soon? 

It's also possible insurance won't pay for it because I was taking medications during the sleep study for my narcolepsy diagnosis years ago. Apparently, the naroclepsy test has a history of changing rules around whether or not you can take medication during the test, and right now, my test might not be seen as accurate because I was on certain meds (mostly mental health meds I think) when I had it done. I would retake the test, but I'm on a lot of meds that would be really hard to come off of for a few weeks before the test. My doctor said I have symptom patterns of type 1 narcolepsy (which I'm questioning), and that research shows treatment for narcolepsy and different types of hypersomnia are basically the same anyway, whether certain medications are officially supposed to treat both or not. So my doctor is trying to get me Wakix (because other meds either haven't worked or have had bad side effects), even though it's not a simple process for me. I like how much it feels like she's on my side in relation to my treatment.

I've been trying to keep up with everyone's entries, but I've also been a bit unmotivated and busy lately, and the probable dyslexia probably isn't helping either. So yeah, I'm a bit behind at the moment. I need to start using Speechify on this website. Anyway, here are some updates on everything.

The gym and leg pain

My partner and I have started going to the gym again recently. (We had stopped for a bit around when we had to go on a trip to attend a wedding.) I've noticed that, when I went two days ago, while my foot pain is better after getting shoe inserts, I'm still getting a lot of unpredictable pain in my shins(?) when I walk. It gets kind of bad and is honestly really annoying. Maybe I should go to someone to get that checked out? It's been getting worse over the years, and I used to not experience it at all. I feel like I need to do something about it if I'm going to keep working out, especially because it is getting worse.

Tonight's plans

Tonight, my partner and I are planning to go to the gym (probably in a few minutes since it just turned 5PM), go eat out at a restaurant, and then see the new Demon Slayer movie. I've been putting off seeing the movie because I want to see it at the best time possible. (I think me being more depressed lately hasn't been helping this. I keep thinking I want to see it when I'm actually doing well so I can take it all in if that even makes sense.) Well, now it might be near the end of when we can see it in the theater, so might as well just do it. I'm actually going to do makeup tonight, which I don't do much anymore because it takes up so much time and energy. But it's nice to wear something nice and do makeup every once in a while, and I think this is a good opportunity. 

Next week

I really need to get into the habit of doing voice practice again starting tomorrow. And next weekend my partner and I are going to the yearly Balloon Fiesta, which means waking up at like 2 or 3AM to get ready and then taking the bus at around 4AM to get there in time. It's annoying but worth it, probably because it's nice to get out of the apartment and do something different. You definitely don't physically surround yourself with balloons every day.

CW: This post might be kind of negative.

I don't remember much of today.

I streamed some, but not for long. Michael and I rode around in the car for a bit, and for maybe 20 minutes, I thought maybe I'd be able to write some lyrics, but that fell through, too. Now I'm just sitting here feeling lethargic, uncertain of what I have the energy and willpower to do at this point.

It's 9:21PM. There isn't much time left in the day. I can't keep letting every day end like this.

I brought up the idea of going on a road trip to Michael. It'd be nice to go somewhere before it gets cold if possible. I think it would help inspire me creatively. They also seemed to like the idea and said it's probably doable, so maybe that's something I can look forward to. 

I just got back from my IOP individual therapy. I sat by the building for an hour before my appointment because Michael had to drop me off early, and I had to walk and take the bus home by myself after. I don't think I feel quite proud of myself, but I'll admit that I do feel a little accomplished. That and like I still have a full day ahead of me, which is nice. Time doesn't feel wasted yet. 

By the way, here's a quick health update:

I've been getting palpitations pretty consistently (like every 1-5 minutes) but also on-and-off for the past few days. It's hard to explain. When I asked online, some people said maybe I should check in with a medical professional. However, I'm not ready to go in there, have normal test results, and be treated weirdly because of it. I'd rather just not go at all, but at the same time, I don't want to regret anything.