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Sorry I haven't been around here much. I honestly keep forgetting this website exists.

Yesterday, I had my appointment with a hearing doctor. I came in with complaints related to processing language/speech, thinking it might be hearing loss (even though I've had these struggles back when I had a past hearing test, and my hearing was fine) or (more likely) auditory processing problems. When I talked about my experiences with hearing/processing, the doctor brought up auditory processing issues pretty quickly and said the first step to getting that diagnosed was to have an updated hearing test. 

So I got the hearing test done. It was honestly pretty stressful to me because some of the tones I had to identify were barely hearable and had me wondering if I imagined them. As someone with a history of auditory hallucinations and illusions, I really didn't trust myself, and I was afraid the doctor would basically just tell me I was pressing the button when there wasn't even a noise. (For anyone who hasn't had this type of hearing test, you press a button every time you hear a tone.) 

Everything ended up turning out okay. I actually pressed the button pretty consistently, despite my worries. My results were within normal ranges, too, so the doctor referred me to someone who does auditory processing testing. Sadly, even though we called them right away, I won't have my appointment until March 4. It's progress, though!

While my partner and I were there, we asked about what was usually done to help with auditory processing issues. She said the most common thing was hearing aids set to specific settings to help you differentiate background noise from more important sounds. So now I'm excited for hearing aids, or whatever might end up helping, because whatver I'm struggling with is highly disabling. For example, when I'm in a group conversation in public, and everyone else seems to be conversing fine, I hear about 35%-5% of the words said, depending on a few factors. Basically, it sounds like people are speaking another language except for the rare word I understand. It's really frustrating!! I basically can't participate in group conversations at all. Even when I'm in a group call, I have to focus really hard after the first 10 minutes to understand anything that's being said.

Anyway! Progress is being made, and I'm happy about that.
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I just got back from my IOP individual therapy. I sat by the building for an hour before my appointment because Michael had to drop me off early, and I had to walk and take the bus home by myself after. I don't think I feel quite proud of myself, but I'll admit that I do feel a little accomplished. That and like I still have a full day ahead of me, which is nice. Time doesn't feel wasted yet. 

By the way, here's a quick health update:

I've been getting palpitations pretty consistently (like every 1-5 minutes) but also on-and-off for the past few days. It's hard to explain. When I asked online, some people said maybe I should check in with a medical professional. However, I'm not ready to go in there, have normal test results, and be treated weirdly because of it. I'd rather just not go at all, but at the same time, I don't want to regret anything.

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