CW: This post might be kind of negative.

I don't remember much of today.

I streamed some, but not for long. Michael and I rode around in the car for a bit, and for maybe 20 minutes, I thought maybe I'd be able to write some lyrics, but that fell through, too. Now I'm just sitting here feeling lethargic, uncertain of what I have the energy and willpower to do at this point.

It's 9:21PM. There isn't much time left in the day. I can't keep letting every day end like this.

I brought up the idea of going on a road trip to Michael. It'd be nice to go somewhere before it gets cold if possible. I think it would help inspire me creatively. They also seemed to like the idea and said it's probably doable, so maybe that's something I can look forward to. 

I just got back from my IOP individual therapy. I sat by the building for an hour before my appointment because Michael had to drop me off early, and I had to walk and take the bus home by myself after. I don't think I feel quite proud of myself, but I'll admit that I do feel a little accomplished. That and like I still have a full day ahead of me, which is nice. Time doesn't feel wasted yet. 

By the way, here's a quick health update:

I've been getting palpitations pretty consistently (like every 1-5 minutes) but also on-and-off for the past few days. It's hard to explain. When I asked online, some people said maybe I should check in with a medical professional. However, I'm not ready to go in there, have normal test results, and be treated weirdly because of it. I'd rather just not go at all, but at the same time, I don't want to regret anything.